India: the hard parts

Everything you’ve heard about India is true. First off, the not so great:

India was dirty and smelly. Really dirty and really smelly. Trash was everywhere and animals of several varieties roamed the streets. Not to mention the fact that urinating in public was apparently not considered inappropriate. The combined scent of animals, human waste, and trash overwhelmed me at times.

The poverty was as bad as everyone had told me it would be. Indian poverty was harsh and evident everywhere. As a mom it was tough to see small kids in filthy rags turning back flips at red lights to try to get some money. Or the young mom who was crouching in the dirt making chapattis to sell outside the gates of the Taj. The hardest part was knowing there wasn’t anything I could do to make things better. A dollar given to a street kid wasn’t necessarily going to be used to the kid’s benefit. A dollar given to the young mom would be spent as her husband saw fit.
(Chris Plaut's photo)
Peddlers in India were the most aggressive I’ve ever encountered. They didn’t just call to you - they’d follow you, tug on your clothes, or block your path in an attempt to sell you something. Vikram did his best to keep them at bay but fourteen obviously foreign women was just too much to resist. In their eyes we were walking ATMs. I think my face in this picture does a good job of illustrating how tiring it got at times:

Arranged marriages still exist in India. Not that I have a problem with arranged marriages in general (especially since I‘m not in one) but I do have a problem with one particular aspect of the whole thing. Part of a traditional Hindu marriage involves the negotiation of a dowry. The dowry can be an astronomical amount for families to pay and some parents make promises of a dowry they can’t deliver in order to have their daughter married to a promising match or the groom‘s family may decide after the wedding that the dowry was insufficient and make further demands. Unfortunately, the bride ends up paying dearly if her new family doesn’t get what they want. Some girls are harassed, some are beaten, and some are doused with kerosene and set on fire.

It really scares me to think of what I would be capable of doing to the person that set my daughter on fire. I was told that “kitchen fire” and “stove explosion” are actually code words for what the western media calls “burning brides.” From a statistical standpoint this form of brutality is rare but it happens and, sadly, it's on the rise.

Of course, domestic violence is present in every single country on earth so it’s unfair to list it as one of the negatives about India. I’m also fairly certain that a citizen of India would have plenty to say about America after visiting.

Trust me, there is far more good in India than bad and the next post is all the good stuff.