Poor Parenting 101

To get ready for October's trip you'll need the following tutorial:

How to feel like a schmuck:

1. Plan a trip to Hong Kong Disney well in advance to secure cheap airfare. Non-refundable, non-transferable tickets are really best for this exercise. You'll need to purchase plane tickets so far in advance that your kid's school schedule will not have been published for the month you will be at Disney. Timing is crucial.

2. Tell your kids all about the trip and how fabulous it's going to be. Really talk it up big so they'll be extra excited. Tell your oldest child that she'll get to miss one day of school and add the comment, "how important can one day of school be anyway?" Cue the foreboding music.

3. When the school calendar is finally released just ignore it. Don't bother looking at the month you'll be at Disney because your kids are NEVER sick and NEVER miss a single day of school so missing one random Monday is no big deal. Raise the volume on the foreboding music.

4. Three weeks before the trip you will want to realize that your oldest child - who is super excited about the trip and never, ever asks for anything - has a major exam on the Monday that you will be at Disney. You may need to check to be sure your child's school has a very strict policy against make up exams in advance.

5. Tell your child she will NOT be going to Disney. If you think this step is the hardest you're wrong because now you will tell your child that you and brother are still going.

6. Now, if you've survived to the end of step 5, you already know how it feels to be a schmuck. If you want to take the experience to the next level you'll need to have an amazing oldest child. The last step is also what will make this a particularly lasting memory. If you do not have a amazing oldest child you're in luck because said child will throw a snot-slinging fit and you can at least have the peace of knowing they "didn't deserve to go to Disney anyway" while on your way to the mall to buy back their affection. If, like me, your child has a grace and dignity beyond her years she will tell you it's ok, she understands, and she hopes you have a great time anyway. Don't fling yourself off the top of a building just yet. The fun isn't over. Then hope that your child tells you that she understands how hard it must have been for you to have to tell her she couldn't go. Dante's version of Hell was a walk in the park compared to this torture. Last but not least have your oldest child stay home studying all weekend so she can do well on her test while you are at Disney with her brother and without her.

7. At this point you may not want to be left alone for fear of hanging yourself with your "World's Greatest Mom" t-shirt.

Hong Kong Disney

Miniman was only three when we moved to Singapore so he has very few memories of our life back in Houston. One of the things he does remember clearly was the last Halloween we celebrated before the big move. We did all the traditional Halloween actvities: made candy apples, visited a pumkin patch, bought a boat-load of candy, attended the parties at the kid's schools, carved pumpkins, and went trick or treating. That year, like every year, all of the parents and kids on our street dressed up and went trick or treating together and Miniman thought it was the greatest night EVER.

When we moved to Singapore I had high hopes of continuing to celebrate all the holidays we enjoyed back home but apparently other cultures do not share our enthusiasm for Halloween. Sure, I can find some candy and a few costumes in Singapore but the Halloween spirit just isn't here. There is no pumpkin picking, no hay rides, no apple cider and certainly no chill in the air. The area of Singapore I live in does not trick or treat as most cultures do not observe the holiday and would have no idea why my children were knocking on their door and asking for treats while dressed in strange clothes.

Our first Halloween here in 2009 was a total bust so I was determined to make up for it in 2010. I planned a trip to Hong Kong Disney over Halloween weekend and invited our friends the Ketricks. Miniman and Hello Kitty (obviously not her real name) Ketrick were in the same class in school and adore each other. She's the Jenny to his Forest. Miniman constantly surprises me with how thoughtful he is towards Hello Kitty. One time we were all sharing a taxi and Hello Kitty mentioned she was getting hot sitting near the window. Miniman traded places with her at the next red light so she would be in the middle of the taxi and out of the sun. He does things like that for her often and without expecting anyting in return.
Hong Kong Disney was the perfect size for two four year olds. It's not nearly as large as the park in Orlando and the majority of the rides were for smaller kids which made me feel a little better that BGC couldn't come. We could make it from one character appearance to the next without having to hop on a train or kill ourselves sprinting from one end of the park to the other. The lines weren't anything like they are in Orlando either. On Day 1 we arrived in Hong Kong, checked into our hotel, and hit the park. We stayed in the Disney Hollywood Hotel and I was really happy with our choice. First, they let two families share a room which a lot of places don't allow. Second, the buffet breakfast was well done and had something for everyone. Third, nothing beats a free shuttle to the front door of the park. Day 2 (Halloween) we hit the park early and didn't leave until they were about to lock the gates. Because it was Halloween we let the kids wear their costumes all day and I would estimate that strangers took roughly 80 bazillion picturs of the kids that day. Day 3 we took the kids to the character breakfast and caught our flights back to Singapore.

Leah and I decided before we left Singapore that we would tag team parent. If either child acted up when their parent was occupied the other adult had permission to lay down the law. The kids were excellent so it wasn't an issue but it's good to have things like that agreed upon beforehand. We also each put a specific amount of money in an communal envelope that paid for things we all used like taxis and tips which was so much easier than trying to split things or keep up with who paid for what.
If I had it all to do over again I wouldn't change a thing. I would stay in one of the two Disney hotels, stay at the park until it closed (after the parade the park cleared out and we could ride the rides as many times as we wanted to), and attend the character breakfast. The characters did a good job of visiting each and every table during the breakfast which helped to keep the kids in their seats and not fighting for a chance to pull Pluto's tail.

On the way home, both of the kids were asleep on the plane within 10 minutes of takeoff and slept until we landed in Singapore. It wasn't the traditional American Halloween but it wasn't too shabby either.

Baby Girl Castello ended up having a really good weekend with her dad. They went bike riding on Palau Ubin, ate chili crabs, and enjoyed some much needed daddy/daughter time.

Surf, Sleep, Spa

Our trip to China was nothing short of spectacular and has rightfully earned a spot on my list of the Top 10 Places I'm Glad I took my Kids before They Grew Up.

Once we got back to Singapore I had just enough time to unpack, wash clothes, and fill the fridge before my solo adventure began. That's right. For the first time in my adult life I took a trip (that wasn't work related) by myself. It all started at a mom's coffee meeting. I was having breakfast with a group from Miniman's school when we were joined by a Mom that had just returned from a trip to Bali. She told us all about the surfing, the clubs, the shopping, and that fact that she went BY HERSELF. Wait, what? Moms go places by themselves? Hand to God, it had never occurred to me that a grown woman with a husband and kids might take a vacation that didn't revolve around family or friends.

I had really, really wanted to learn how to surf when we were in Bali in August but ran out of time. The idea of a solo trip intrigued me but I kept feeling that, as a stay-at-home-mom, going somewhere exotic by myself was greedy and extravagant. The funny part was that I didn't think either of those things about the mom at the coffee meeting. So anyway, I started planning a trip to Bali for the whole family when The Man informed me he wouldn't go. He was training for a 50km trail race and the trip would interfere with his training. I couldn't just delay the trip until after the race as it was already mid-September and October marks the beginning of Bali's monsoon season. I had to choose between not going at all and going by myself. Just for laughs I checked out plane ticket and hotel prices and was surprised by how much they had gone down since it was the end of tourist season. I took this as a sign that I should go. Alone.

My friends enjoyed teasing me that this was my Eat, Pray, Love trip but I was quick to retort that at this point in my life my novel would be titled something more like Surf, Sleep, Spa. I arrived late Friday night, contacted my family back in Singapore, and slept like death. Saturday I took my first surf lesson, spent a few hours in the spa, shopped, and slept like death. Sunday I surfed, spa'd, and caught my flight back to Singapore. Surfing was a lot harder than my kids made it look but I enjoyed every single minute. Any hopes I had of being a natural on a surfboard were quickly dashed and I spent most of the first lesson like this:

and this:

and this:

But by Sunday I could do this:

I'm totally ok with the fact that I'll never go pro. In less than 48 hours I learned how to surf somewhat, bought great souvenirs, relaxed at the spa, and was ready to return home well rested and refreshed.

Unfortunately, my absence at home had been a total disaster. The Man got sick Friday night right after I left and spent the entire weekend in bed. Miniman had to miss a birthday party he was looking forward to attending because I wasn't there to take him and his Dad was too sick to go. BGC was forced to spend her weekend fetching meds for her Dad and keeping her little brother alive. When I walked through the door Sunday night I was greeted by three people who vowed not to ever let me leave them again. Baby Girl Castello hugged me the hardest. I think that weekend gave her a little insight as to what my job really involves and she wanted no part of it. Good thing I got all that sleep in Bali.

Train to the Terracotta Warriors

There were basically four options to get from Beijing to Xi'an to see the Warriors: 1) plane 2) train 3) automobile 4) bus. As far as option 1 was concerned, we have taken our share of planes so flying seemed too ordinary. Option 2 was intriguing as trains are a huge part of Chinese culture and the way millions of residents undertake long distance travel. Option 3 was too expensive. Option 4 just wasn't going to happen. Apparently the kids and I were the only 3 people in China that don't smoke so the thought of spending hours on a crowded bus that was a glorified cancer factory wasn't appealing. If I'm going to give up a lung it's going to be for something amazing, not someone else's cigarette. Also, bus travel isn't all that fast and I didn't want to lose a lot of time in transit. Option 2 was the clear winner as the train was overnight so we wouldn't lose any daylight hours.

Miniman was able to travel for free as long as he slept with me which meant we'd be sharing our four bed cabin with two total strangers. As the kids and I had never travelled by train before, I had no clue as to train etiquette. For instance: Do you tell the other people in the cabin goodnight when the lights go out? No. Do you wear pajamas for an overnight trip or sleep in your day clothes? Sleep in your day clothes. I didn't see anyone in pj's. Who decides when to turn out the lights at night or turn them on in the morning? This is decided for you. At a certain time an announcement comes on the loud speaker nicely telling everyone that it's late and time to go to sleep. Another announcement tells you that it's time to wake up and start getting ready for your arrival.
Our arrival in Xi'an was met with absolute chaos. There weren't any signs to tell me where to go and there wasn't anyone to ask as no one spoke english. No one. There were buses and people and tour groups everywhere and I had a hard time finding the one bus I was looking for. My kids were the only non-asian kids that I saw and everyone wanted to touch their faces and their hair and get pictures of them and with them. It was enough to make me start to panic a little. About the time I started to really regret the decision to travel to Xi'an by myself with the smalls I stumbled upon the elusive bus I was looking for that would take us from the train station to the Warriors.

The terracotta warriors didn't disappoint. The level of detail in the faces, clothes and animals is mind blowing. The three hangars that house the warriors are laid out in large rectangles which means there is plenty of space for viewing regardless of the hordes of tourists. The site itself is actually lower than the viewing platform so you're looking down on the remains of Qin Shi Huang's army. Many warriors have been put back together and are standing upright but many more lay in piles of random heads, torsos, clothes, etc. Not all of the artifacts have been uncovered and it was interesting to see a working archaeological dig site. As much as Miniman and BGC are not sightseers, they really loved seeing the warriors and learning about how they were discovered and how experts think they were made.

On our way to the train station to catch the overnight train back to Beijing, we stopped at the onsite Subway and enjoyed sandwiches we could just of easily have been eating in America. The Subway in Xi'an sells Corona and the dichotomy of eating an American sandwich and drinking a Mexican beer while in Xi'an, China didn't go unnoticed. It really is a small, small world after all.

Our trip got off to a bit of a rough start but turned out to be one of the things my kids talk about the most when we talk about China. I guess new experiences aren't always easy but are almost always worth it. Now that we had walked on the Great Wall and viewed the warriors in their final resting place I could afford to just relax and enjoy the rest of what China had to offer.

Got helmets?

There were two things I absolutely had to do before I left China - set foot on the Great Wall and see the Terracotta Warriors in person. I told the kids before we left Singapore that we would do those two things regardless of cost, inconvenience, weather, political strife, sickness, health, attitude or mental competence and I wasn't joking.







I've learned the hard way that my kids are do-ers and not see-ers. Sightseeing is not their idea of a good time so I knew I needed to find a fun way to get them to the Great Wall. Beijing by Sidecar offered trips to the Wall in a reproduction sidecar motorcycle and had rave reviews on Tripadvisor so I signed us up. The tour would include the ride itself, a long hike, and a french picnic lunch on a less touristy part of the Wall. The reviews were right. Watching BGC weave through the crazy Beijing traffic in the motorcycle driven by someone I had known less than 15 minutes was alarming but she was thrilled. Miniman was riding in my lap and pretended to steer the motorcycle by clutching the rim of the sidecar and leaning to whichever side he needed to veer. The ride was amazing, the picnic was yummy, and we had the Wall all to ourselves. The hike was challenging to say the least but Miniman and BGC powered through without any help. Our hard work was rewarded with views like this:

I woke up very early the next morning when I heard strange sounds coming from inside our room. After a few seconds I realized the sound was Miniman dreaming about the ride and making motorcycle sounds in his sleep.

My bucket list just got a little shorter.

What to do when it rains in Beijing

Over the next few days in China we shopped, ate everything in sight, and hit all the normal tourist attractions. We were blessed with good weather for eight out of the nine days we were in China but the one rainy day gave us a good excuse to get off the tourist trail and goof off. The very industrious Chinese have turned part of the Water Cube into a water park so that's where we spent our rainy day. The place is amazing. It's clean, beautiful, and you can't beat it's location.





When we arrived at the water park I realized that no one working there spoke a bit of english. The park had only been open for a few weeks so things may have changed by now. Anyway, the staff kept trying to get us all to wear life jackets. I was trying, without success, to convey that we were strong swimmers and could handle the 6" deep water. We were standing in the very building where Michael Phelps won all those gold medals just a few short years ago so I pointed to Miniman and said "Phelps" then I pointed to BGC and repeated "Phelps" and then to myself and said the same. It worked! The staff let us go without life jackets. They either understood that I was trying to tell them we are strong swimmers (like Phelps) or they think we are members of the Phelps family. Whatever, it worked. We spent eight hours at the water park and the kids were still disappointed when it was time to leave.






The other interesting thing about this water park was that it had live entertainment. At intervals throughout the day live bands, dancers, and singers would come onto the stage next to the wave pool and perform. They had an unusual mix of dance styles (most notably belly dancers!) and most of the music was by western artists - there was a whole lot of Michael Jackson, Celine Dion, and Abba.




We were the only non-Asians in the Cube and my kids had a small group of followers everywhere they went. When they came down a slide, they were greeted by several women taking their pictures and clapping for them. Now, I'm not a fan of strangers taking pictures of my kids but it's unavoidable in Asia. I sincerely hope word didn't get out that we were relatives of Michael Phelps and these people thought they were getting pics of the next generation of Olympic medalists!

I think we've had enough for one day.

Backwards Blog: Beijing, China

In September I embarked on my most ambitious trip yet and took the kids to Beijing and Xi'an China. I had dreamed of going to China to walk the Great Wall and see the Terracotta Warriors since childhood but never really thought that dream would come true. Baby Girl Castello had some time off of school so I took a leap of faith that things would work out and put the trip together. Most of our trips take place over long weekends but I knew China was too big and there was too much I wanted to do to cut it short so I planned an itinerary that spanned nine days. This entry gives a little general info and details our first day in Beijing.

I nearly had to sell a kidney on the black market to pay for the travel visas (Americans pay more than any other nationality) but found plane tickets, hotels and souvenirs to be quite affordable. September was also the perfect time to go as Beijing has frigid winters, dust plagued springs, and brutally hot summers. The weather in September was perfect - pleasantly warm days and slightly chilly nights.

Thanks to the 2008 Olympics, Beijing is fairly easy for westerners to visit. Most signs were in several languages including english and there was someone who spoke english pretty much everywhere we stopped. The further away from the city we got the less english was spoken and at times our communication had to be conducted through improvised sign language but we always managed to get where and what we needed. My kids got frustrated by the language barrier one time and I took that opportunity to explain to them that WE were guests in THEIR country so we could only be frustrated with our own ignorance. In our case the following stereotype is true: If you speak three languages you're tri-lingual. If you speak two languages you're bi-lingual. If you speak one language you're American.

We arrived in Beijing early in the morning and did our best to reach the hotel in time to meet up with the guide I had hired. I say we did our best because the traffic in Beijing was horrendous. Our taxi driver didn't speak a word of english but thankfully I had printed out our hotel name and address in mandarin so he knew where to take us. After stashing our bags we met our guide and headed to Tienanmen Square and the Forbidden City.

I was carrying Miniman to preserve his legs for the rest of the day and was extremely grateful when a stranger on the subway offered me his seat. My guide explained that women with small children are always offered a seat and I found that quite chivalrous and definitely not the norm throughout much of Asia.

Frankly, I thought Tienanmen was rather boring. There was little to see and nothing to do but I was still glad to have gotten to see the place where that iconic photo of the lone demonstrator standing in front of a tank during the protests in 1989 was taken. Rumor has it that there are no benches or seats in Tienanmen Square so that people can't sit around and plot protests. I don't know if the rumor is true or not but I did note that there wasn't one single place to sit.

Monument to the People's Heroes in Tienanmen Square



Our next stop was the Forbidden City where I found I had totally underestimated how large the site was and how many structures it contained. We had a guide walking us through the sites and it was easy to close my eyes and imagine what life in the City was like hundreds of years ago. I tried to impress upon my children how important this place was and how lucky they were to learn about it in person rather than in a textbook. I'm a sucker for history and architecture and the Forbidden City delivered both in vibrant colors and jaw-dropping craftsmanship.

















Our first day in China ended with an acrobat show and Peking duck dinner. I was assured that even though the best acrobats in China had been drafted by Cirque du Soleil, the ones we were going to see that night were still pretty good - and they were.










Our flight to Beijing had us up quite early that morning so by the time the show ended we were getting tired and cranky - and hungry. Thankfully our guide knew a great place to eat that wasn't too far from our hotel and dinner was a big hit. First, we got a tour of the kitchen where the famous Peking ducks are prepared and cooked. Next we sat down in the nice restaurant and enjoyed the duck, green beans that didn't taste anything like the ones at home, and paper-thin fried potato sticks with green onions. To eat the duck, you take a small pancake and fill with the sliced duck, scallions, cucumbers, a little plum sauce and enjoy. The skin on the duck is so thin and crisp that it disintegrates in your mouth. BGC begged me to learn how to make the duck at home while Miniman was partial to the potatoes. Personally, I enjoyed just sitting down with a cold drink and watching the two of them dig in.
























As I always do when I'm somewhere new with the kids, I took few minutes in the hotel before drifting off to sleep to think about how fortunate I was to be in such an amazing place and to have the opportunity to savor the experience with two of my favorite people.

Backwards Blog: Bali, Indonesia

For August's trip we decided to go to Bali, Indonesia with our dear friends, Matt and Kim Gipson. Bali was another one of those places that I'd heard about and read about but never thought I would actually get to go to.

Bali is a really, really popular travel destination from Singapore. Several airlines offer flights to Bali that fit well with work schedules and the flights are often pretty cheap. I checked on flights a few months ago and a one way ticket was $20 SGD (Singapore Dollar). Places to stay vary from private villas with butlers, personal chefs, drivers, etc. to filthy hostels and everywhere in between. We're the kind of people that stay somewhere in the middle. My criteria for a beach vacation is a hotel that is safe, clean, on the beach, does not charge extra for my kids to sleep in my room, and close enough to anything else we want to do. Oh, yeah, and air conditioned. I'm no princess but I DO need my aircon at night. Food is pretty inexpensive and souvenirs are dirt cheap. I bought several dresses in Bali for $5 each that I love and wear often. So, Bali can be an opulent vacation or a budget trip depending on your needs and wants.

Our arrival in Bali was a circus. There were throngs of people in lines that seemed to stretch forever. My attitude didn't improve when I had to buy a travel visa at $25 USD per person but I got over it, bought our visas, and we settled into the immigration line. And we waited. And waited. And waited. The lines didn't seem to be moving very quickly and I'm convinced I'm always in the slowest line. A worker saw us and told us to get in a different line that was for people with kids. So we got in that line and waited. And waited. And waited. We FINALLY cleared immigration and made our way out of the airport. Thankfully, Kim had pre-booked a shuttle so we didn't have to deal with finding a taxi and worrying if we'd end up at the right place.

We stayed at Komandalu in Ubud and it was gorgeous. I loved the mini-villas, the terraced rice fields, the outdoor shower, and the food. The outdoor shower wasn't as unsettling as I thought it would be. For our first full day in Ubud we did a bike tour of the countryside with a company that had really good reviews on Tripadvisor. A van picked us up in the morning and drove us to a restaurant for breakfast before we began our tour. On the tour, we stopped at a traditional Balinese house and got to see the local way of life, taste cocoa off the tree, see a chicken fight (my first and last), and learn about their system of getting animal waste to the rice fields for fertilizer. The men sampled some Arok which is a liquor made from coconut that contains 45% alcohol. The tour guide said one sample of Arok was good but more than one "would make you smile by yourself." We saw women working in the rice fields, kids riding their bikes to the fields after school, a dam, temples, and people just going about their daily lives. I was amazed at the way they spread rice over the roads to let it dry out and no one seemed to care that the rice was being trampled by cars, bikes, and animals. Bali was the trip that convinced me to wash my rice before I cook it. BGC rode her own bike and did really well going through the muddy fields. Miniman was on the back of his dad's bike where he managed to sneak in a quick nap.

After lunch at the guide's house, the driver was nice enough to drop my family off at the Monkey Temple. The Gipson's skipped the Temple as rabies is a big problem in Bali and Baby Gipson was still in the oven. Rabies treatment and pregnancy just aren't a good mix. I know several people that have been bitten at this particular Temple so I lectured my kids extensively about what to do and what not to do. As one might imagine, there were a lot of monkeys at the Monkey Temple. The Temple itself is interesting and seemed to be the kind of place that could easily be swallowed by the jungle if not for the constant interference of people. There was some sort of a celebration going on that day and dozens of men were sitting on the ground preparing raw meat. Then a procession of women came through carrying what looked like offerings on their heads. I have no clue what the whole thing was about but it was interesting to watch.

The driver from the bike tour had waited for us and took us back to Komandalu. He didn't charge us anything for taking us to the Monkey Temple or for waiting for us and driving us back to the resort. Of course, we insisted on paying him anyway. We enjoyed a late afternoon swim and nice meal in the restaurant.

On Day 2 we made the trek to Tulamben which is the final resting place of an American WWII shipwreck. The USAT Liberty was torpedoed by a Japanese submarine while carrying rubber and rail parts from Australia to the Philippines. I love history and diving and couldn't wait to see the wreck. I was also thrilled that BGC was going to get to see something so significant so soon after getting her certification. The wreck was a good dive choice because it's not far off the beach and part of the ship is clearly visible to snorkelers so even Miniman could get a good look. As it was a holiday weekend, most of the dive resorts were completely sold out by May and we ended up at a place that was, um, less than posh. I think the room was $23 a night and was overpriced at that. The wreck, on the other hand, was fascinating. It was so overgrown with coral and such that it took me a while to even realize it was a warship. Once my eyes adjusted a little, I could make out the outline of the ship then it's handrails and decking then specific things like a ladder and blades.
On Day 3 some of us snorkeled and some went diving again. BGC learned the hard way that you can touch an anemone with the palm of your hand and be OK but not the back of your hand. She got stung and has faint scars on the back of her hand to this day. Lesson learned. One think I loved about Tulamben was the black sand. The sand in this part of Bali is from volcanic rock and looks great in a glass jar. After lunch we left Tulamben for Legian and spent the rest of the day lounging by the pool and exploring the beach.
Day 4 was a great day. A travel magazine wrote an article where they asked kids for their favorite things to do in Bali and several mentioned surfing on 9 Mile Beach. I made reservations for the kids and figured The Man and I would watch, take pics, or rescue a drowning child if necessary. The surf company really had their act together and it was a joy to watch our kids catch their first waves. Each child had their own instructor which I think is vital when you're talking about kids, waves, and no life jackets. Our kids were really, really good! Miniman caught the first wave but BGC had more stamina and stayed out longer. I took too many pictures and videos to count but I cherish each and every one. We ate lunch, went back to the hotel, swam in the pool, had dinner with the Gipsons, and packed up to head back to Singapore.

I think we arrived in Singapore around 2AM. The guys had to leave for work at 6AM and BGC had to be at school at 7AM but no one complained. I let Miniman stay home from pre-school and in his jammies all day. I may or may not have stayed in my jammies all day too.