Incredible India

Everything you’ve heard about India is true in a good way too.

The hotels were opulent. We stayed in three different hotels but the Oberoi in New Delhi was my favorite. It was like Architecture Digest in living form. For me, it’s rare to find a hotel of this level that doesn’t make me feel like I’m always one false step away from breaking something or like the staff needs to keep an eye on me because they know I’m not their usual caliber. The Oberoi was relaxed and inviting and gracious at every turn. The flowers were flown in daily, the breakfasts were beyond compare, and the rooms were all first rate. The spa wasn’t too shabby either. The Oberoi wasn’t a budget hotel by any means but it was worth every penny.

(Kim Gipson's photo of the lobby)

The service industry in India is second to none. The service industry in India does a bang up job of delivering a first class experience. The people we encountered working in hotels and restaurants NEEDED their jobs (and tips) and worked hard to keep them.

The US dollar goes a long way in India. After buying my MIL a round trip plane ticket from America and paying for the trip itself I didn’t have a ton of spare cash laying around but was able to buy some really special things in India. Copper was cheap, quality rugs were relatively inexpensive, and I could buy souvenirs for everyone. A few dollars in tips went a long way too which was helpful in a country where people wait on you hand and foot.

There is no better place to learn how to haggle. Professional gamblers should go to India to perfect their craft. Haggling in India required the ability to estimate the true value of an item, read the body language of the seller to see if you could go lower, and keep your own magic number a secret. I was truly impressed with the skill of young and old alike when it came to getting every last rupee out of me. Even when I paid too much I left the exchange respecting my opponents ability to out-maneuver me.

The people of India are generally extremely open, friendly, and hospitable. Even the peddlers I complained about in the last post were helpful. Need to know where the nearest bathroom is? They knew. Want to know how much to pay for the goods they weren’t selling themselves? They could tell you. Looking for something specific? Look no further. Smiles are free and given generously.

The kids I met in India loved to ask questions about America, have their picture taken with us, and see themselves in the pictures I took. I could have spent hours just talking to the street kids and trying to see life through their eyes.

Foodies love India. More spices traveled through India than any other country on earth and they put them to good use. I never could decide on my favorite Indian dish. I ate naan daily, savored the dahl (black lentils), and ate my weight in lamb. Any dish with the words butter or masala was a good choice.

India has the Taj Mahal. And it’s amazing. The love story behind the world’s most famous mausoleum is a gift in and of itself. The inlaid jewels, the exquisite marble work, and the architectural triumphs are just the icing on top. As we were walking around the Taj Mahal, I kept thinking, “I can’t believe I’m here. I can’t believe I’m here. I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M HERE!”

India has an amazing story to tell. India’s history has all the makings of a modern day reality TV show. Deceit, betrayal, triumph, loss, devotion, villains, and heroes are all common elements. Some of India’s past is tragic, some inspiring.

Indians are proud of India. I am from a part of the United States (Louisiana) that is often vilified and ridiculed so I’m all too familiar with how it feels to hear people put down the place you call home. I can’t help but respect people who see the faults in their homeland but love it all the more. The Indians I had the pleasure of talking to were fiercely loyal to their family and that’s something you don’t find as much in modern times.


To be totally honest, I never aspired to go to India and only went to see the Taj Mahal. I secretly wondered if I was going to be totally bored the other 7 days. I wasn’t. Not even close. India was a veritable wonderland of things to do, taste, see, and experience. Going to India let me see a life that simply does not exist in America.

Despite all the negative things people say about India, I’m eternally grateful I went and hope to take my kids when they are a little older and can appreciate India in all it’s dirty, smelly glory.

India: the hard parts

Everything you’ve heard about India is true. First off, the not so great:

India was dirty and smelly. Really dirty and really smelly. Trash was everywhere and animals of several varieties roamed the streets. Not to mention the fact that urinating in public was apparently not considered inappropriate. The combined scent of animals, human waste, and trash overwhelmed me at times.

The poverty was as bad as everyone had told me it would be. Indian poverty was harsh and evident everywhere. As a mom it was tough to see small kids in filthy rags turning back flips at red lights to try to get some money. Or the young mom who was crouching in the dirt making chapattis to sell outside the gates of the Taj. The hardest part was knowing there wasn’t anything I could do to make things better. A dollar given to a street kid wasn’t necessarily going to be used to the kid’s benefit. A dollar given to the young mom would be spent as her husband saw fit.
(Chris Plaut's photo)
Peddlers in India were the most aggressive I’ve ever encountered. They didn’t just call to you - they’d follow you, tug on your clothes, or block your path in an attempt to sell you something. Vikram did his best to keep them at bay but fourteen obviously foreign women was just too much to resist. In their eyes we were walking ATMs. I think my face in this picture does a good job of illustrating how tiring it got at times:

Arranged marriages still exist in India. Not that I have a problem with arranged marriages in general (especially since I‘m not in one) but I do have a problem with one particular aspect of the whole thing. Part of a traditional Hindu marriage involves the negotiation of a dowry. The dowry can be an astronomical amount for families to pay and some parents make promises of a dowry they can’t deliver in order to have their daughter married to a promising match or the groom‘s family may decide after the wedding that the dowry was insufficient and make further demands. Unfortunately, the bride ends up paying dearly if her new family doesn’t get what they want. Some girls are harassed, some are beaten, and some are doused with kerosene and set on fire.

It really scares me to think of what I would be capable of doing to the person that set my daughter on fire. I was told that “kitchen fire” and “stove explosion” are actually code words for what the western media calls “burning brides.” From a statistical standpoint this form of brutality is rare but it happens and, sadly, it's on the rise.

Of course, domestic violence is present in every single country on earth so it’s unfair to list it as one of the negatives about India. I’m also fairly certain that a citizen of India would have plenty to say about America after visiting.

Trust me, there is far more good in India than bad and the next post is all the good stuff.

How I ended up in India

I'll detail the good, the bad, and the ugly of India later but thought I should start by explaining how I ended up there in the first place.

I was invited to go to India by my dear friend Kim Gipson who was, in turn, invited by Kay Karuna. Let me introduce Kay Karuna. Kay is one of those women who never take a bad picture, never has a hair out of place, always knows the best places to dine and shop, and would be equally comfortable haggling in a dirty market or having tea with Queen Elizabeth. I want to be Kay when I grow up. Kay is also the owner of a very successful cooking school in Singapore called Cooking with Kay and her business is where my invitation originated. Kim was taking a class with Kay when the India invite was issued and then Kim invited me.

Kay and I in Jaipur.

The third person that made India possible was Vikram Singh Rathore. Vikram was in his early twenties and had been hired to guide us between Delhi, Agra and Jaipur. My husband says that there isn’t anything on earth that would motivate him to be responsible for the happiness and safety of 14 random women but Vikram was a natural. I can only imagine that at times it felt like he was herding cats but in eight days he never raised his voice, rolled his eyes, or lost any of us. I’ve been guilty of all three just getting my two kids to the grocery store.

Exchanging Holi powder with Vikram in Agra

The trip was only for adult women. No kids and no husbands. At the time of the trip, I had been a mom for ten years and had never taken more than a short business trip without my kids so I felt one kid-free trip per decade wasn’t too much to ask. I offered to buy my mother-in-law a round trip plane ticket and give her some spending cash if she would come to Singapore and keep my kids alive in my absence and she agreed. I was off.

American travelers are often accused of showing up in a foreign country looking for something similar to what they would find in America. Basically, an American experience in a foreign country and I was determined to show up without any preconceived notions. I left with no expectations and an open mind and it’s a good thing I did. There was nothing about India that was familiar to me - not the sights, not the sounds, not the customs - but I loved it.

Don't get me wrong, travelers find the same basic amenities in India that they would find in America but with some subtle and some not-so-subtle differences. For instance, India has nice restaurants but we shared the road with camels to get to them. India has amazing hotels but our bus was stopped outside each one so the guards could check for bombs. India has a vast network of service-industry staff but the gap between the people cleaning the rooms and the people sleeping in them is measured in miles not inches.

Of all the places I've explored, India is the most unique and interesting. My memories of that trip are so lasting and dear to me that when I'm old and decrepit I'll still think of India and smile.